Cake or Death!

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.  Coincidence?  I think not! 

~Author Unknown

If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you.  But you have no chocolate!  I think of that again and again!  My dear, how will you ever manage?  

~Marquise de Sévigné

So I was taken down a notch last week. After convincing myself that taking the time to get a flu shot was pointless and too time consuming. Since typically I don't get sick. Well good old karma stepped in and you can guess what I was doing last week. Ding, ding, ding, I was enjoying a fabulous week of chills, aches, pains, and fever (and not the good Peggy Lee kind). So I was derailed from an excellent streak of wellness and healthy living. Oh well it is over now so let's move on. Onto a different topic.


This week kids we are going to talk about temptation. Not about fighting it but succumbing to it. I had an instance of severe temptation against one of my greatest foes last week. They are those sexiest of little desserts called cupcakes. Those little marvels can get me to roll over and beg better than most anything. They are the perfect tiny number of goodness. A small few bites of cake with a little less guilt... If you can manage to only eat one. That is where our story begins.


So there we were, the littles and I were invited to a lovely princess birthday and we were there in full regalia. The crown, scepter and gown the whole bit. So we arrive and the girls are graciously given their treats and they dove right into the pink perfection. While they enjoyed their dessert I felt myself getting a little hot under the collar. Who could I hand this damn baby too so I could get my sweaty little palms on one of those sweet little confections??? I scoped the surrounding area and quickly found someone more than happy to take my little. That way like a ninja assassin I could ascend on the unsuspecting frosted friends and devour them before they saw me coming. 


I wish I could say that that was the end of it. I had my one delicious morsel and I was satisfied. It was not though. Like a crazy crack head I took not one but two more of the cupcakes and unhinged my jaw and stuffed it down my throat. OH THE CARNAGE!!! They didn't stand a chance. I was crazy eyed. Like a maniacal killer I ripped them apart and savored every little crumb. One of my littles approached during the massacre and asked if we could split one and despite me telling them all the time to share I said "No, this is mine". At least it came out calmly when in my head it sounded more like a crazed Renfield. 


When the heat of the moment was over I wiped my mouth and felt unabashedly pleased with myself. Then the guilt set in... The subconscious sugar monster had won and I had yet again knocked over my good meaning conscious in favor of the beast. Here's the deal. I like healthy food I really and truly do, but I have my pitfalls as well. One happens to obviously be cupcakes. I really can't help it so I tend to stay away from them. However, when I am in a birthday celebration scenario I feel obligated to eat them. Sometimes I go overboard and hoover too many. Such was the case this time.


I really am trying folks and that is all I can say. I don't want to be fluffy anymore but sometimes my inner scooter rider comes out and demands confections. I battle that person everyday. I remind myself that I want to be able to zip my jeans. I remind myself that for every time I derail that that is just that much more work I have to do to get back on track.  I write it here so that I can tell myself that shit happens and I can go forward. 


So if you see me at a birthday party and you notice that look of desire in my eye. No I am not scoping someone out, I am eying those tasty treats. Please feel free to hit me with a rolled up newspaper and say "Down, down bad girl!!".  I will have slip ups again but this one was downright bawdy! So to the mom of the child whom was so gracious to invite us I am sorry. At least now you have a few less leftovers to tempt you. They went down nicely and are now happily nestled in my ass.