The sound and the fury!

Emotion always has its roots in the unconscious and manifests itself in the body.  

~Irene Claremont de Castillejo

 Man is the sole animal whose nudity offends his own companions, and the only one who, in his natural actions, withdraws and hides himself from his own kind.  

~Montaigne

So it was nap time the other day and I was perusing facebook in between other household duties. When I stumbled upon a status update that made me nearly spit out my decaf. After I stopped trying to catch my breath from laughing. Which I did so hard I nearly wet myself. I realized how much I could relate to the post.  Summing it up it went a little like this:

"If you are going to pass gas in the middle of a quiet pilates class don't expect me not to laugh"

I love this friend of mine more than words can express since she and I are cut from the same cloth. This could be a post I would write myself and due to some of the ladies in my gym classes it could become a reality at anytime. Let's face it I am in the south and all that seafood, red beans and rice, gumbo and all the other gastronomically unfriendly food is bound to show it's face someday. I don't care how low calorie, fat free, or carb healthy you make these dishes they are producers of floating phantasms du reek.  My terror is that it will happen and the humiliating part will be my reaction.

Due to a recent nominal injury caused by my ever lacking amount of grace. I was told to lay off my heavy duty Zumba in favor of things like Pilates or Yoga. The only problem with that is that you get very, very, very relaxed. A professor of mine was musing one day about how she was banned from a class such as this because of her non-stop snickering at the frequent releases of air. Not only were they relieving stress they were also taking care of other "pent up" issues. My fear is that in that in this moment of relaxation a slimy surfer could emerge causing my true identity to show its uncouth face. 

Lets face facts we strive for a bit anonymity when we work out. We have no make-up, we are sweating, and at the end of the work out we are pretty damn gross. So none of these people know me besides the occasional casual conversation in passing. I do not need to be known as that crazy chick who went hysterical over in Yoga class. I would never show my face again. End of story.

So despite the obvious hilarity of someone ripping ass in the middle of a class I can't help but worry this could really happen. I have to let you understand that I am a teenage boy with my sense of humor. If I haven't already made that clear. Dick and fart jokes get me giggling to the point of pain. The other day I was in a very quiet situation when my son expelled the most raucously foul air biscuit he has done to date. It was all I could do not to pass out from trying to hold the laughs in. So needless to say that if this happened during a downward dog in yoga I might fall out! I am literally writing this and chuckling, I am depressingly immature with my humor... I know.

The reason it worries me some is that I attempt to come off as a somewhat mature and together person. My verbal vomit aside I can at times pull it off. However an explosion of bodily proportion could blow my cover. So please dear ladies of the gym don't make me fall into a heap of red face laughter because you said "pass the beans" one too many times. Let me keep my dignity. I don't want to go to gym detention... Otherwise known as the treadmill. 

On a side note I apologize for my absence. My littles and myself were sick, then I was hurt and then the dog ate my homework. I will work harder to get back into the swing. Not hard to do when you are telling yourself "I am glad to be me" and then you say "Ewwww...". 

Since I am a complete Anglophile a little of one of  my favorite shows.